Vacation and Loss

So we have not had a vacation in almost a year...seriously. Our 2009 vacation was in the for of a birth and first few days with Little Brother. It was nice but there was no sleep...what else is vacation for?

So this year we went to El Paso to visit my parents, grandmother and uncle.

8 hours was pretty long drive for our little guys but they made it.We arrived late on Friday Jan 1st gave lots of hugs and ate a little and went to bed.
Saturday was a day of yummy food and rest. My mom is an AMAZING cook!
My mom had plans for Sunday...SNOW! We drove to Cloudcroft NM and played in the snow. Dustin had never played in real snow. (Del Rios 1984 snow does not really count lol).
Monday my dad returned to work and we hit the mall. Squee!
Tuesday we had a real date with no kids!! It was awesome!! Thanks Mom and Dad!!
Wednesday we hit the zoo, before the bitter cold set in. El Paso has about 15 real nice animals...hehehe, no its a cute zoo. Little brother cried when we left.
Thursday Dustin and I had to run a couple errands sans kids again WOOHOO!
Friday we chilled out watched movies and ate more(yes we ate everyday) but some focused on food a bit more than others. Yum!
Saturday we left.

OK I over simplified...truth is it blends together in my mind a little. See Thursday while Dustin and I were out, my Nanan started not feeling well. For a time she did great, my mom made plans to take her to see her sister up north. For a nearly 73 year old woman with COPD she was doing really good. She was so proud of herself for using her Smoke anywhere electric cigarette, she just quit about a month ago...started at 12.  I sat and talked with her during the week. Gave her lots of kisses. Made her breakfast. Sat and watched TV with her. Then Friday she was sick all day. Sometime during Friday night something happened, my dad found her Saturday morning on her hands and knees in her room. He put her back in bed, she tried to talk but made no sense and she slipped into a comatose state. COPD is not pretty, it looked so painful to see her try to get air. She was drowning in her own lungs. She looked like a goldfish taken out of its bowl, trying desperately to get a breath. I iced her lips, and talked to her let her know that i love her. A nurse came by and said she could wake up, or stay like that for a week, or go that day. Hospice workers must have hearts of gold, or steel. I would be broken hearted to deal with death so often.
It was Saturday and we had to come home...I said goodbye, told her I would see her in Heaven. I still feel like I didnt say enough...

Sunday my niece M was going to spend the night. So we met my sister and her family at Bass Pro Shop. Mandi and I were talking and joking around about a plague my dad picked out for her in Cloudcroft. Her phone rang and callerID said it was our mom. We laughed because we were just talking about her. She answered with a big smile that disappeared quickly. We had lost Nanan, 11 days before her birthday. Mom and I were trying to decide what to get her. We cried there in the middle of the store...

I cant believe she is gone. She is with Jesus and I will see her again someday, but I still miss her.

Twyla B 1/21/1927-1/10/2010

(photo of Dad, Niece L, and Nanan 8-09, Courtesy of J. Dodd)